英语写作技巧：善用从句，变化才是真

一篇英语文章如果通篇都是简单句或者单一的句式，就会显得单调乏味、乏善可陈，也会暴露出作者的写作技巧之贫乏。灵活多变的句式能使文章增色不少，例如通过分词、从句、介词或形容词词组等将若干简单句整合成长句，不仅能使句与句之间的联系更加紧密，而且还能增强整篇文章的逻辑性，读起来也不会枯燥无味。同时，灵活的句式变化还能显示出作者对于语言文字的良好的掌控能力。当然，使用各种复杂多变的句式有一个重要的前提，那就是不能出现低级的语法错误，否则就会适得其反。

例句点评

Choppy: The Art ofStrategy was written by Sun Tzu. Itis a fifty-six-hundred-word Chinese classical work. The writer put forth a setof principles in a very tightly compressed manner. They deal with how to defeatoppositions and win battles.

Better: Inhis fifty-six-hundred word classic, TheArt of Strategy, Sun Tzu put forth a tightly compressed set of principlesfor achieving triumph over opposition.

【评析】修改前这段话的问题在于：(1)主谓结构过多;(2) written和writer、The Art of Strategy和it、a set of principles和they指代的内容相同，显得重复;(3)单一的句式结构不仅显得句与句之间的逻辑关系松散，而且显得文字效果单调。修改后的句子将原文包含的五个信息点(书名、作者、书籍特点/属性、主要内容、写作目的)囊括于一个长句之中，将孙子提出一系列原则(SunTzu put forth a set of principles)确定为最核心的主谓结构，其余次要信息分别通过两个介词词组(in和for)以及同位语的形式一一列出，条理清晰，符合英语的语言表达习惯。

Choppy: Of course, theweapons at Sun Tzus time were quite primitive. The armies were very large.They were nearly as large as those in World War Two. The devastation and humansufferings were just as profound as in World War Two.

Better: Comparedwith World War Two, the weapons at Sun Tzus time were quite primitive, but thearmies were nearly as large and the devastation and human suffering just asprofound.

【评析】分析修改前的几个句子可以发现，它们全都是在比较Sun Tzus time和World War Two这两个时期的武器(weapons)、军队(armies)以及破坏程度和人民疾苦(devastation and humansufferings)，可考虑使用表比较的compared with结构。意思相近的还有in contrast to、unlike、similar to等。

Choppy: Proverbsare short sayings. They are drawn from long experience.

Better: Proverbs are short sayings drawn from longexperience.

【评析】修改前的两个句子的主语proverbs和they指代的内容相同，因此可用which引导的定语从句连接这两个句子，改为Proverbsare short sayings which are drawn from long experience.为使句子简洁，可删去which are。

Choppy: People change andplaces change as well. Jennifer felt this strongly. She had been away foreleven years.

Better: On returning after aneleven-year absence, Jennifer had a strong feeling of how people and placeschange.

【评析】修改前的几个句子之间逻辑关系比较松散。分析这几个句子之后我们发现，它们之间的关系应为：Jennifer离开了11年之后再回来，强烈感觉到人和事都变了。修改后的句子把时间成分提前，后面是主次分明的主谓宾结构，句间的逻辑关系一目了然。

Choppy: Beijing streets are crowdedwith taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. Thenumber has been rising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statisticsshow there are now 2.1 million vehicles in Beijing alone.

Better: Taxis, company cars andprivate vehicles owned by the newly affluent have crammed Beijing streets inrising numbers in the last few years2.1 million vehicles at lastcount.

【评析】修改前的句子中有三个主谓结构，句式结构显得比较单一，读起来令人十分乏味，且句与句之间的逻辑关系比较松散。修改后的句子是主谓加同位语结构，比较精炼、耐读，且逻辑关系十分清晰。

Choppy: Moby Dick is a book. Itis a long book. It is about a whale. A man named Ahab tries to kill it. HermanMelville wrote it.

Better: Herman Melville wrote a long book called Moby Dick. It is the story of a struggleof a man against a whale.

【评析】修改前的几个句子都是围绕一本书的，书的名字、长短、主要内容、作者等等，但这几个句子句式结构太过单一，读起来完全感觉不到句子与句子之间的逻辑联系，且显得十分啰嗦。其实我们完全可以用一个句子来理顺修改前的几个句子之间的逻辑关系：XX写了一本XX书，书名叫XX，讲的是关于XX的故事。由此，我们可以尝试用过去分词形式(如called)、形容词形式(如long)以及介词结构(如of、against等)来连接原文中的几个句子，使句间的逻辑关系更为紧密。具体改法参见修改后的句子。

Choppy: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This alone is now beingpreserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It is being preservedas a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

Better: Of the thousands ofbuildings that met the same fate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclearexplosion,is now being preserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

【评析】分析修改前的几个句子，大意为数千幢大楼都遭遇了同样的命运，唯独这一幢标志着核爆炸中心的建筑现在还被作为一个标志保留着，标明我们不希望再有更多的福岛事件。修改后的句子用了介词结构+主语+分词结构修饰主语+谓语来连接几个看起来毫无关系的句子，使句间的逻辑关系更加清晰，又是一个突破简单划一的主谓结构的典范。

Choppy: I have always had adream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. Iwould become very wealthy.

Better: I have always dreamedof being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.

【评析】修改前的句子连用四个短句，且几乎都是主谓宾结构，句式重复单调。修改后的句子将我有一个梦想和我的梦想是合二为一，即I have always dreamed of来定位句子主干，再引出梦想的具体内容being a wealthy,famous writer，最后通过过去分词结构将修饰语读者众多和writer相关联。很明显，修改后的句子主次分明、句式丰富且逻辑清晰。

Choppy: This is a wreck. It was formerly the stately Imperial Garden. Itis preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.

Better: This wreck, formerly the stately Imperial Garden, is preserveddeliberately as a reminder and symbol.

【评析】修改前的几个句子主语this、it和it，其实指代的都是同一个事物wreck，所以完全可以用同位语以及从句来连接，使其更加紧密。修改后的句子用了主语+同位语/插入语+谓语结构。

变化句式的常用技巧

英语的一个显著特征是可以轻易地将简单句转化为复合句和(或)复杂句。复合句可以看做两个简单句的集合，类似丈夫和妻子，构成夫妻这个整体但又各自独立;复杂句则是主句和从句的结合，类似父母和孩子。请看下面的例子。

简单句：My dog bit a boy.

复合句：My dog bit a boy and the boy was hurt. (and连接的是两个独立的句子)

复杂句：Although my dog is friendly most of thetime, it bit a boy yesterday. (although连接的是主从句)

将若干个关系松散的简单句整合成逻辑严密的复杂长句的最佳方法是，先确定最核心成分，即主谓结构，写出主句，再将其余成分通过各种手段一一安排到合理的位置，常见的有从句、分词、介词词组、同位语、不定式等。例如：

Before: LuHao graduated last summer. He joined the First Auto Works in Changchun soonafter graduation. He received an engineering degree from his college.

After: ①After graduating last summerwith an engineering degree, Lu Hao soon joined the First Auto Works inChangchun. (介词结构+主语+谓语)

②An engineeringdegree-holder, Lu Hao joined the First Auto Works in Changchun last summer soonafter graduation. (同位语+主语+谓语+状语)

③Having graduated with an engineering degree, Lu Hao joined theFirst Auto Works in Changchun last summer. (分词结构+主语+谓语)

【评析】修改前的三个句子主语所指代的内容相同，但彼此之间关系太过松散，因此可以考虑采用介词词组、同位语结构或从句等不同的方式将这三个简单句连接起来，详见修改后的三个句子。

中译英实例

1. 我们在接待室等待着，好像度日如年，永无尽头。大约中午时分，医生终于从手术室走了出来，向我们报告手术结果。

不合格译文：We waitedat the reception room, which liked oneday seemed like a year, and havewaited without end. It was aboutnoon when the doctor came out of the operation room finally told us theresult of the operation.

【评析】第一个like有时态的变化，很明显在此处是用作了动词，表示喜欢，而不是好像，使用错误;将度日如年机械地直译为one day seemed like a year并不符合英文的常见表达，而且and have waited without end在时态和表达上都有误，建议改为We waited at the reception room, which was painstakingly long.另外，finally told us前要加and。

合格译文：We waitedendlessly in the reception room, asthough the days dragged on like years. Around midday, the doctor finallywalked out of the operating room and told us the result.

【评析】句中的endlessly这个词本身已经含有度日如年的意思，可以删去意思相近的表达asthough the days dragged on like years。

最佳译文：Afterwhat seemed like an endless wait in the reception room, the doctor finally cameout of the operating room around noon time to announce the result of thesurgery.

【评析】将汉语原文的前半句以after+ what从句的形式呈现出来，既简洁又富有创造性，且句子内部逻辑性更加清晰。

2. 任何人都能观看铁人三项、马拉松、公路自行车赛和帆船赛全部免费。

不合格译文：Every one can watch triathlon, marathon, road cycle and sailing. They are allfree of charge.

【评析】Every one应改为everyone;triathlon和marathon前面需要加the，且Marathon首字母应大写(若marathon变成复数，就无需大写，也无需加定冠词);road cycle应改为road cycling。

合格译文：Anyonecan watch the triathlon, the Marathon, road cycling and sailing. They are freeof charge.

【评析】句子本身没有错，但两个短句显得比较单调，且句子间的逻辑关系松散。

最佳译文：Anyonecan watch the triathlon, marathons, road cycling, and sailingallfree of charge.

【评析】全部免费是对前半句各项赛事的补充说明，所以可以通过破折号引出，使句子连贯性更强，而且更简洁。

练习

1. Memory is one of thoseabilities that we take for granted except when it fails us. So, memory is likedigestion in this way. (提示：去掉so，将两个简单句合并)

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2. In 1998, France was the toptourist destination. The country attracted about 70 million visitors. Spain wasin second place, with 48 million tourists. This represented a 10% increase forSpain from 1997. (提示：分析几个句子的主语之间的关系，将主语相同的句子进行合并)

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3. An Ideal Husband is a film adaptationof Oscar Wildes play. It tells the story of a popular politician who wasinvolved in a scandal that led to his downfall. (提示：两个句子主语相同，可合二为一)

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4. She sat obediently. Her furcoat was still wrapped around her against the cold. (提示：可用从句连接两个句子)

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5. Visits to the state park seta record in 1998. Compared with the year before, it was an increase of 11percent. (提示：两个句子主语相同，可合二为一)

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6. In was quite obvious at thattime that IQ equals intelligence. Since then, however, many people haveseriously criticized the idea. (提示：分析句子结构，后句theidea指代的是前边句子that之后的内容，可合二为一)

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7. Snow White did her choreswith a smile. Often she would sing while she worked. (提示：两个句子主语相同，可合并为一个句子)

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8. Sitting in his apartment,drinking a cup of strong tea, Mr. Faxon reviewed his legal case against his boss.He had been doing this every night for seven nights. (提示：用状语从句连接)

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参考答案

1. Like digestion, memory isone of those abilities that we take for granted except when it fails us.

2. In 1998, France was the toptourist destination with about 70 million visitors. Spain was in second place,with 48 million tourists, a 10% increase from 1997.

3. An Ideal Husband is a film adaptationof Oscar Wildes play that tells the story of a popular politician brought downby scandal.

4. She sat obediently, stillwrapped in her fur coat against the cold.

5. Visits to the state park seta record in 1998, up 11 percent from the year before.

6. The idea that IQ equalsintelligence seemed obvious at the time but has since come under muchcriticism.

7. Snow White did her choreswith a smile, often singing while she worked.

8. Sitting in his apartment,drinking a cup of strong tea, Mr. Faxon reviewed his legal case against hisboss, as he had every night for seven nights.